They Have Arrived (10/14 Impact Recap)

They Have Arrived (10/14 Impact Recap)

Impact opens with footage from Bound for Glory where it was revealed that Jeff Hardy was working along side of Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Jeff Jarrett and were all part of the “they” Abyss has been talking about. When then see footage from earlier in the day where Eric Bischoff is talking to Dixie Carter’s lawyer in the parking lot. The lawyer is accusing Bischoff of changing the contract she was given and Bischoff says he is in charge of the building and that he is trespassing and sends him on his way.

Hulk Hogan’s music hits as Hogan comes out on crutches with Bischoff as Mike Tenay states that Bischoff and Hogan now own a majority stake in TNA due to the contract that Dixie signed last week. Hogan gets on the microphone and says it was time to take what was rightfully theirs as he hears an earful from the TNA fans in the Impact Zone. Hogan says Dixie Carter promised a lot to them and he finally went out and took it all.

Bischoff gets on the microphone and says what they did was a work of art and nobody saw it coming. Bischoff then walks through their plan starting with Abyss and introduces him as he comes down to the ring. Abyss comes out and says that nobody wanted to believe him but now they have total control over TNA. Abyss then pledges his allegiance to Hogan and Bischoff and calls himself a loyal soldier.

Bischoff then introduces the next piece of the puzzle, a man who is cut from the same cloth as himself, Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett comes out and talks about having the company that he created and was run out of his own office by Dixie Carter and her daddy’s money. Jarrett says he, Hogan and Bischoff gave the Carter family exactly what they deserved, and now everyone will have to play by the rules of the new regime.

Fortune’s music then interrupts as Fortune walks down to the ring. Ric Flair says Hogan may have not been watching the show lately, but he should know that Fortune runs the show. Flair then calls out Hogan and says he has hated him for 25 years and one of them needs to walk away tonight. Flair and Hogan then stand face to face before finally smiling and sharing an embrace. Bischoff then announces that the two sides are unified as it was their destiny.

Bischoff then introduces the final piece of the puzzle, which is the new TNA World Champion, Jeff Hardy. Hardy comes out to the ring to a chorus of boo’s and a “you sold out” chant. Hardy says he sold in and that popularity doesn’t mean anything to him. Hardy says he risked his body for the fans but he says the people in the ring actually care about him and his future. Hardy then takes credit for what Abyss did to RVD, which set this plan into motion.

Kevin Nash and Sting are seen watching from a big screen in the back and Bischoff calls them out to the ring to join the party. Hogan says they still have two empty seats for them to come out and we see the two head out of their room as we head into a commercial break.

We return from the break to see footage of Dixie Carter arriving to the Impact Zone with TNA security guards, Gunner and Murphy, and her husband. Dixie tells the security guards to not leave her side no matter what happens.

We then return to the Impact Zone where Kevin Nash and Sting have made their way out to the ring to join Team Hogan and Fortune. Bischoff sends them an invitation to join them and Nash says they are a perfect fit for him, however, he has gotten wise in his age and says the guys in the back are his friends and family, and says he wants nothing to do with them.

Sting then chimes in and says this is nothing that he came to TNA for. Sting professes his love for TNA and calls the group a no win situation. Sting says he doesn’t want to repeat history and says his answer is no before he and Nash leave the ring together. Bischoff then calls them nuts for walking away and says they will know where to find them once they reconsider.

Mike Tenay then announces that there is something going on in the back as we see D’Angelo Dinero is talking with Sting and Nash and wants to know what is going on. Dinero then says he is going to take on their cause and fight the fight because he is a fighter. Dixie Carter then walks in and asks how Sting and Nash can leave her like this. Sting says they tried warning her but she wouldn’t have believed them.

Hogan and Bischoff then walk in and she yells at them for stealing the company and slaps Bischoff across the face. Hogan then gets in her face and says that if she wants to have a conversation about it that she can talk to him in his office as he walks away.

Dixie Carter is seen talking with Hogan and Bischoff in the office as Dixie tries to get some answers from the two of them. Hogan admits that he screwed her out of her company and tells her that she isn’t running TNA anymore. Dixie then says she never trusted Bischoff and Hogan tells Dixie to shut up and tells Gunner and Murphy to get Dixie out of his office. They comply as Dixie’s husband tries to help out his wife but is laid out in the process.

A car is seen pulling up in the parking lot and it is JWoww from Jersey Shore and she is on her way to the Impact Zone. We then see Madison Rayne heading towards the ring and is being followed by a referee. Madison gets on a microphone and says her plan didn’t work out at Bound for Glory as her title is around Tara’s waist, the same Tara that should be thanking her for letting her back into TNA. Madison then demands to have a title shot at this very moment.

Tara comes out and Madison reminds her to her face that she signed a contract allowing her back into TNA. Madison says they had a deal and tells her to do the ring thing. Tara then hands the title to the referee and we have our first match of the night.

Match 1: Tara vs. Madison Rayne (TNA Knockouts Championship)
Madison demands that Tara do the right thing and Tara lays down for Madison so she can be pinned and lets her win the TNA Knockouts Championship. Madison then celebrates her “victory” as Tara claps her hands for Madison.

They are then interrupted by Mickie James and calls the title change disgraceful and that they are making a mockery of the championship. Mickie then says that she still plans on making history and wants to do it right now. Mickie then runs into the ring and kicks Tara out to the floor before chasing Madison out of the ring.

We then see the Beautiful People getting their makeup done as JWoww walks into the room and is asking around to see where Cookie is. The Beautiful People says they don’t know where she is but they agree to go help find her as the group leaves the room.

After a commercial break, we see the Beautiful People and JWoww looking around for Cookie but they run into Eric Young who asks JWoww to sign his chest. Orlando Jordan then walks in and offers her a lolly pop but JWoww just drops it on the floor and walks away.

Kurt Angle is seen walking towards the ring with a microphone in his hand. Angle says he is there to get a few things off his chest before making an announcement about his retirement. Angle says he has busted his ass for the past six months and wants to know why Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff screwed him at Bound for Glory. He says he needs some answers first before retiring and brings up the fact that he wasn’t pinned either.

Jeff Jarrett’s music then interrupts as he comes out of the entrance tunnel. Jarrett tells Angle that he should honor his word and can’t believe he is out here making excuses. Jarrett says he won’t ever forget how Angle made his life a living hell when he came into TNA and Jarrett says he is going to return the favor. Angle questions what he did, as he put TNA on the map and took the young guys under his wing. Angle then says that Jarrett held every down, but he couldn’t hold him down.

Jarrett then says that he partnered with Hogan and Bischoff to take back what was rightfully his. Jarrett then says he wanted to take his career as and put the final nail in his coffin. This upsets Angle who begins walking towards Jarrett but he is nailed from behind by Gunner and Murphy. Angle is then handcuffed and Jarrett gets in some cheap shots before sending Angle headfirst into the stage. Taz finally has enough and steps in and tells Jarrett that he went too far and tells Jarrett to go to the back.

After a commercial break we see footage of what just went down between Angle and Jarrett as Taz speaks up as to why he stepped in. We then see footage of Samoa Joe walking alone in Daytona Beach and he says it is rare for him to make a mistake, but he did on Sunday when he trusted Jeff Jarrett. Joe says he knows he was chosen for a reason and that was to do his dirty work. That same man is now on the lookout for Jarrett.

Match 2: Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Joe goes right on the attack and fires off a flurry of punches on Abyss. Joe then takes Abyss down with a dropkick and follows with a senton backsplash but Abyss is able to stop Joe’s momentum with a choke slam. Abyss then steps out to grab a chair but Joe dives through the ropes and onto Abyss and takes him out. Abyss is able to recover, though, and clocks Joe in the head with the ring bell and the referee stops the match and disqualifies Abyss.

Abyss isn’t through, though, as Abyss chases the referee away and continues beating on Joe, who has been busted open. RVD’s music then hits as he chases Abyss away and helps out Joe and waves in some referees and trainers to take a look at Joe. Joe doesn’t want any help and pushes them away before leaving the ring on his own.

RVD then grabs a microphone and calls out Jeff Hardy for what he did at Bound for Glory. RVD says Hardy had his trust and friendship, but now he has his focus. Hardy then appears on the big screen and says that friendship is nothing more than an illusion in pro wrestling. Hardy then calls himself the anti-Christ of professional wrestling and says that everyone wants him.

Eric Bischoff’s music then hits as he comes out to talk to RVD. Bischoff says that RVD will take on Mr. Anderson in tonight’s main event and the winner will face Jeff Hardy for the TNA World Championship at Turning Point. RVD agrees to the match and vows to kick Hardy’s ass after he beats Anderson.

After a commercial break, Eric Bischoff is seen talking with Miss Tessmacher and says that he has a lot of business to take care of tonight before getting in her face about how easy she is. Bischoff says he almost ruined everything by talking with Kevin Nash and D’Angelo Dinero. Bischoff says she is lucky to be part of TNA and tells her to go wrestle with the Knockouts. Mr. Anderson then steps in and calls Bischoff a douche bag before telling him that he will not win the war.

Match 3: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Fortune
Dinero is taking on AJ Styles, Kazarian, Douglas Williams and Beer Money, while Ric Flair and Matt Morgan are lurking around the ringside area. The Pope holds his own against Fortune in the opening moments until he sets his sights on Flair and he is taken down with a Carbon Footprint. Some miscommunication between Fortune nearly allows the Pope to steal the victory but Beer Money hits the DWI and Kazarian covers to pick up the pin fall.

Shore is seen walking around in the back as we also see that JWoww is still on the lookout and are on their way to the Impact Zone.

Robbie E. and Cookie make their way to the ring and Robbie brings up the fact that they are on television the same time as Jersey Shore airs. Robbie says that show is done as JWoww comes out along with the Beautiful People. JWoww gets in Cookie’s face as she tells JWoww to go crawl back in the hole that she came out of. Cookie then slaps her across the face as JWoww jumps on her and begins to choke her out. Robbie E. then pulls Cookie out of the ring and carries her to the back as we head into a commercial break.

The announce team run down tonight’s events on what went down earlier between Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter. They then set up tonight’s main event and what is at stake with the match.

Match 4: Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam (#1 Contenders Match)
The match starts as the two trade blows back and forth until RVD finally takes Anderson down with a spin kick. RVD then sends Anderson flying across the ring with a monkey flip and nearly picks up a near fall. Anderson then retreats to the floor where RVD hits a moonsault off of the apron as Impact comes to a close.

We pick up the rest of the match on ReAction and see that Anderson is able to gain control of the match by crotching RVD in the corner a couple of times before hitting a superplex. Anderson then picks up a couple of near falls. Anderson then wears down RVD with a headlock before laying into him with a few boots. RVD is able to get in some offense and tries for a Rolling Thunder but Anderson is able to counter and picks RVD on his shoulders. RVD is able to counter that and slams Anderson down before hitting a split leg moonsault but Anderson kicks out of the pin attempt.

Anderson is able to quickly recover and hits a rolling slam on RVD but he isn’t able to keep his shoulders down. Anderson then tries for a high risk move but RVD is able to get out of the way. RVD then heads to the top rope and goes for a Five Star Frog Splash, but Anderson is able to get his knees up and block the move. Eric Bischoff then begins making his way down towards the ring and calls the referee over and tells him to follow him. Bischoff tells him to do his job as the two competitors are laid out on the canvas.

Jeff Hardy’s music then hits as he comes down to the ring with a steel chair in his hands. Hardy slides into the ring and nails both Anderson and RVD in the back with a chair before he puts Anderson’s arm in the chair and drives RVD down onto the chair with a Twist of Fate. Anderson writhes in pain on the canvas as Hardy plays to the crowd and we head into ReAction.

Quick Results
- Madison Rayne defeated Tara by pin fall for the TNA Knockouts Championship.
- Samoa Joe defeated Abyss by disqualification.
- Fortune defeated D’Angelo Dinero by pin fall in a 5-on-1 handicap match.
- Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam fought to a no contest.

Starman’s Thoughts
There were plenty of times during tonight’s broadcast that I wondered to myself whether or not I was actually watching a wrestling program or not. Tonight’s show was very light, to the point of almost being non-existent, on wrestling action as most of what was going on was talking… and lots of it.

Yes, due to the way Bound for Glory ended, there was bound to be a lot of explaining going on, but they could have pulled in the reigns a little bit as it all went on for far too long. I’m glad fans get free admission to the tapings, as had I been a paying customer, I would have demanded a refund for having to sit in the live audience for this show.

Let’s just recap the matches, shall we? A “match” where a competitor laid down for the other one, a match that ended in a DQ, a 5-on-1 handicap match and a main event that didn’t have an ending. On top of all that, the first “match,” if I can use that term, didn’t even start until about 50 minutes into the show. And that match was a slap in the face that ranks just one step higher than the infamous “finger poke of doom” match in WCW oh so many years ago. To look at things optimistically, at least there isn’t co-women’s champions.

I hope I’m not the only one that hates the fact that Hogan’s team and Fortune have paired up. This really wasn’t needed in my mind. Eventually, what it is going to come down to is one team will turn on the other, thus making one side turn fan favorite. Who would that possibly be? A group that stole the company or a faction of cocky badasses looking for some time in the spotlight? This can’t turn out well for either side.

Moving on, I have read correctly, TNA paid JWowww $15,000 for the appearance on tonight’s show. That must have been money well spent for the whole 4 minutes of time she spent on camera. I will say that if this was the quick ending of the Shore characters, then maybe it was a good investment, but I highly doubt that it was. These were all horrible segments that wasted what little time that wasn’t all about Team Hogan. I guess it did give TNA some outside exposure, but it probably didn’t earn them any new fans.

Is it just me, or is Dixie Carter’s husband the biggest wuss ever known to man? I think I have seen him on television twice and both times he was laid out. This time all it took was a single punch and he was out. You would think a bigger man such as himself would be able to take a little more punishment.

Yes, I have been a little sarcastic and pessimestic in my thoughts tonight, but I can’t help it after watching two hours of talking with flashes of horrible matches in the cracks. All I can say is that things better pick up next week, I don’t know if I can handle any more talking and worthless matches.