Footage of last week’s show opens up the broadcast before we head to the locker room where Christy says there will the first ever Lock Box Showdown. Eight Knockouts will take part in a match where four winners will win a key that opens a locked box – Poison, a title shot, the Knockouts Championship and the final one will have to strip down to her bra and panties. The Beautiful People come out and say that they plan on winning three of the four boxes and will get everything they deserve and it will be a night that nobody forgets.
The Impact intro hits as we welcomed to the live show that will feature a revenge match between the Pope and Desmond Wolfe, Kurt Angle taking on Mr. Anderson in a ladder match and the Knockouts Lock Box Showdown. Hulk Hogan’s music then hits as Hogan, Abyss and Jeff Jarrett walk down to the ring.
Hogan hypes Team Hogan before Abyss steps in and says that Ric Flair hasn’t dealt with someone like him before and promises to show him the definition of pain and suffering. Ric Flair’s music hits and he is wheeled out by Chelsea and is followed by Sting, Desmond Wolfe and Beer Money. Flair puts over the members of Team Flair before he shows that he has his Hall of Fame ring on his finger and promises to put it down Abyss’ throat.
Hogan steps in and says they have a full, powerful, team and they will find out when the time is right. Team Flair begins making their way towards the ring as Jeff Jarrett steps in and asks Sting to come in the ring alone without his baseball bat. Sting enters the ring and Jarrett asks Sting why the darkside has come out of him this time and says the fans in the Impact Zone deserve an answer. Sting just smiles at Jarrett and Jarrett slaps him across the face before Sting takes him down with a Scorpion Death Drop.
The rest of Team Flair enters the ring to take on Team Hogan but they are stopped in their tracks by Jeff Hardy’s music. Hardy and RVD come out and clear Team Flair out of the ring and Mike Tenay tells us that RVD will take on James Storm next we head into a commercial break.
Match 1: RVD vs. James Storm
We join the match already in progress and RVD picks up a pin attempt after hitting a monkey flip in the corner. RVD then kicks Storm out to the floor and tries for a baseball slide dropkick but Storm catches him and tosses him into the guard railing. Storm drives RVD into the ring with a DDT from the middle rope and tries to wear his opponent down but RVD is able to turn the tide of the match with a spin kick.
RVD then takes Storm down with a clothesline and hits a Rolling Thunder but Storm kicks out of the pin attempt. Storm is able to counter RVD’s follow up with an enziguri and hits the Eye of the Storm but RVD kicks out of the pin attempt. RVD then comes back with a kick to Storm’s head and hit a split leg moonsault from the top rope to pick up the pin fall.
RVD’s post-match celebration is short lived, though, as Storm nails RVD with a beer bottle and has to be pulled out of the ring by security as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the action to see a bloody RVD still in the ring and Jeff Hardy comes out and chases James Storm away and tries to help his partner. Robert Roode is then seen walking through the crowd and sneaks into the ring before hitting Hardy with a spinebuster.
We head to the back where Christy is with Tara, Hamada, Angelina Love and ODB. Tara says that the whole match is a joke and TNA is just doing this for ratings. Angelina says nothing is fair in wrestling and says she will be winning the Knockouts Title tonight. ODB says she could care less about the title and wants the contract and Hamada just says something in Japanese as we head into the next match.
Match 2: Homicide vs. Rob Terry (TNA Global Championship)
Homicide tries to attack Terry before the bell but Terry just takes him down with a single arm toss. Terry then sends Homicide down with a high press slam and powers Homicide around before pinning Homicide after a running power slam to retain the Global Championship.
After the match, Homicide hits Terry with a couple of chair shots, including one to the head that busts Terry forehead open. Terry returns the chair shots by slamming Homicide down to the mat. Orlando Jordan’s music then hits as he sprays a white liquid all over his chest as the two stare each other down.
The Beautiful People are seen warming up in the back as Lacey shows off her new pair of panties and the Lock Box Showdown is up next.
Match 3: Tara/Angelina Love/ODB/Hamada vs. the Beautiful People/Daffney (Knockout Lock Box Showdown)
This is an elimination tag team match and when a pin fall occurs, both are eliminated from the match but the winner gets one of the keys. Madison starts out against Tara and she hits Widow’s Peak in the early going to pick up a pin fall and gets one of the keys. Daffney and Angelina Love are the next two in the tag team match as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the match and see that Daffney won one of the keys during the commercial break by picking up a pin fall over Hamada. ODB and Velvet Sky are the match now and ODB takes Velvet down with a fallaway slam but isn’t able to keep her down for a pin fall. Velvet then suddenly comes back with a DDT and picks up the pin fall on ODB to also get a key.
The final two, Angelina and Lacey, are put into the match and Lacey misses with a moonsault and Angelina comes back with the Lights Out to pick up the pin fall and wins the final key. The boxes will be opened later on during tonight’s broadcast.
A video package highlighting the tension between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson is aired and we then head right into the ladder match.
Match 4: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle (Ladder Match)
The two are fighting over a key that will lock the door during the Lockdown match between these two competitors. After the ring introductions, we head into a commercial break.
We return to hear the bell ring and Anderson immediately takes Angle down before he heads out to grab a ladder. Anderson sets up the ladder in the ropes and sends Angle into the ladder with a suplex. Anderson then positions the ladder in the corner and goes to inflict more damage but Angle counters and drives Anderson into the ladder with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Angle sets the ladder up in the ring and begins to pound on Anderson but Anderson quickly counters and sends the ladder into Angle’s face. Anderson sets up the ladder and begins climbing for the ladder and gets his hand on the key but Angle gets up and takes him down with an Angle Slam off of the ladder.
Anderson rolls out to the floor and Angle begins to head for the key but Anderson climbs into the ring and pushes the ladder down and Angle ackwardly falls out to the floor and lands on the back of his head. That didn’t look too good and I sincerely hope Angle is alright after that fall.
Back in the ring Anderson climbs the ladder and reaches for the key but Angle somehow is able to climb up to the top rope and dropkicks the ladder and sends Anderson crashing down to the canvas. Angle then sets up Anderson on the ladder and connects with a moonsault from the top rope.
Angle sends Anderson flying into the ring post and sets up the ladder as Anderson grabs Angle’s medal and begins choking Angle with the necklace while he is on the ladder. Angle, though continues to climb the ladder and gets his hands on the key but his body goes limp and he falls down to the canvas. Anderson then heads up the ladder and grabs the key to win the match.
After the match, Anderson gets on the microphone and says he is going to celebrate his victory for Lockdown with a bottle of bubbly in the back.
Jeremy Borash catches up with Hulk Hogan in the back and talks about Eric Bischoff’s abuse of power last week in Hogan’s absence. Hogan says what happens between them stays between them and is not going to talk about it in an open forum. Borash then asks why Bischoff isn’t around today but they are interrupted by Bubba the Love Sponge.
Hogan wants to know why he is running with the wrong crowd and Bubba says he is having fun and it sucked hanging out with him before leaving. Jay Lethal then comes up and says that he has Hogan’s back and Hogan sarcastically says he needs the help before turning around with a look of disbelief.
Christy is backstage with Matt Morgan who holds both tag team titles. Morgan says he is the only tag team champion as Hernandez has been put on the shelf. Christy then asks who he will pick for a partner but Morgan just says “we” as in “he” will continue to defend the titles. Christy then wishes him luck as he will have to defend the titles against the winner of the upcoming match.
Match 5: The Motorcity Machine Guns vs. Team 3D
This match is a rematch from Xplosion as both teams were awarded the pin fall. The match starts and Sabin works Brother Ray over for a bit and picks up a quick pin attempt after hitting a cross body block. Alex Shelley is tagged in but Team 3D is able to turn the tide of the match as Brother Devon works over Shelley for a moment before Shelley is finally able to make a tag to Sabin.
Sabin comes in and goes right after both members of Team 3D and the Guns nearly put the match away with a high risk double team move but Devon is able to kick out. Team 3D then again turns the tide of the match as they hit the flying head butt on Sabin and Ray calls out for the tables. The Band then comes out to the ring and attacks Team 3D and Nash nails Ray with a pair of brass knuckles. The Band then destroys both teams by hitting all of their signature moves before they bust out the spray paint.
After a commercial break, the Band are still standing in the ring and Bubba the Love Sponge makes his way out. Kevin Nash gets on the microphone and says he has a message and says that they are not signing the checks, but they are running the show. Nash tells Hogan that he shouldn’t be worrying about Eric Bischoff or Ric Flair as they are his worst nightmare. Nash says they are the show and are sick of carrying Hogan’s ass around.
Jeremy Borash is with D’Angelo Dinero who says he will make history at Lockdown when he wins the TNA World Championship. First, though, he is up against Desmond Wolfe, who interrupts the Pope. Wolfe says that he should be in the main event at Lockdown since he beat the Pope last week. Dinero agrees to put his title shot on the line tonight but promises that tonight will be a whole new ballgame.
Doug Williams comes down to the ring and says that the days of the trapeze artists stinking up the X Division are over. He then invites them to go back to wrestling school and learn the art of technical wrestling, of which he is the master. He then says he wants to now be called by his full name, Douglas Williams. He then goes on to say that he has set up a gauntlet match to give the people a lesson in wrestling.
Match 6: Doug Williams vs. Generation Me (Gauntlet Match)
Williams starts off against Jeremy Buck, who takes Williams down with a moonsault from the middle rope, but Williams is able to kick out of the pin attempt. Jeremy continues on the attack and hits a face plant and an enziguri but Williams comes back with a Chaos Theory suplex to pick up the pin fall.
Max Buck then flies into the ring and picks up a quick pin attempt on Williams. Max continues to go on the attack and heads to the top rope but Williams kicks Max off the ropes before locking Max in a guillotine chokehold and picks up the submission victory.
Shannon Moore then runs into the ring and tries to put some makeup on Williams’ face but Williams is able to roll out of the ring. Moore says the Book of Dilligaf says there is no room for boring wrestlers like him in the X Division. He then asks Williams for a shot at the title at Lockdown and Williams just walks away.
Christy meets up with Team 3D who are icing down their injuries in the back. Brother Ray says that their paths have never crossed paths with the Wolfpac in 15 years but issues a challenge to them next week. Devon promises to kick their asses all over Impact next week… testify.
Match 7: Desmond Wolfe vs. D’Angelo Dinero
The match starts on the entrance ramp and Desmond Wolfe is able to take control of the match once it ends up in the ring. Wolfe sets up for the Tower of London but the Pope is able to counter and takes Wolfe down with a hard right. The Pope takes the knee pads down and hits a variation of the DDE by dropping Wolfe’s face on his knees and picks up the pin fall.
After the match, the Pope is attacked on the entrance ramp by AJ Styles who knocks over a cameraman in the process. Styles tosses Dinero into the ring and hits the Styles Clash before Abyss’ music hits. Abyss comes out to the ring and chases Styles out of the ring but he is attacked from behind by Wolfe. Abyss turns his attention and he is then chop blocked by Styles. Wolfe then heads out and grabs a fire extinguisher and knocks Abyss out as we head into a commercial break.
At the announce table, Mike Tenay and Taz talk about how Team Flair has systematically taken Team Hogan apart during the broadcast. They then send it to Jeremy Borash who is with the Knockouts and the four locked boxes.
JB says the lives of these four Knockouts will change in front of our very eyes as it is time to open the boxes. Velvet Sky is first and her box contains the open contract. Tara is up next and her box is opened to reveal her tarantula, Poison. Daffney and Angelina Love open their boxes at the same time and Angelina Love is the new Knockouts Champion, while Daffney has to perform a strip tease for the fans.
Daffney begins to walk towards the back but JB says when she signed on for the match she agreed to the terms and she will be fired if she doesn’t do her duties. Daffney then slowly walks down to the ring with a scowl on her face and begins to reluctantly perform her strip tease for the fans. Lacey von Erich then runs into the ring and takes Daffney out with the Ugly Stick and finishes the strip tease for the fans.
Meanwhile, Angelina Love and Tara are fighting on the entrance ramp over the Knockouts Championship. The fight makes its way to the ring as Lacey continues to strip. Velvet Sky gets on the microphone and says that she is cashing in her title contract next week against Angelina in a leather and lace match. Security then runs into the ring to separate the two Knockouts as Impact comes to a close.
Quick Results
- RVD defeated James Storm by pin fall.
- Rob Terry defeated Homicide by pin fall to retain the TNA Global Championship.
- Tara, Daffney, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love won keys in the Knockout Lock Box Showdown.
- Mr. Anderson defeated Kurt Angle in a ladder match.
- The Motorcity Machine Guns and Team 3D fought to a no contest.
- Doug Williams defeated Generation Me in a gauntlet match.
- D’Angelo Dinero defeated Desmond Wolfe by pin fall.
Starman’s Thoughts
I am going to try to cut this recap short this week as I it is cutting into me watching the opening day of baseball with the Minnesota Twins taking on the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
Tonight’s Impact started an hour early and ran unopposed to at least try to lure in viewers this week, however, aside from the ladder match, I don’t think there was too much compelling action going on in the first hour to keep fans from switching over once Raw started. All I really saw tonight was stuff about keys and post-match beat downs.
I’m sure TNA freaked a bit after seeing last week’s tremendously low rating, even considering that it was Shawn Michaels’ goodbye show. With that said, it wasn’t a surprise to see the Knockouts get a huge focus tonight with the Lock Box Showdown, especially with the tease of actual “tna” on this broadcast and, of course, they usually pull in the highest ratings anyway.
The match itself was quick and painless, but I really hated that the Knockouts Championship was up for grabs. The Knockouts Division hasn’t been the same after losing some of their bigger names, but that is no reason to put the title on the line in some sort of gimmick match like this. TNA basically treated the title as a prop in this case and with all of the talent in TNA, you’d think that someone would step up and say this was a bad idea since the title basically changed hands in a random drawing.
Speaking of bad ideas, why must every match in TNA end with the winner getting beat down by either the opponent or someone else who wasn’t involved in the match? Nearly every match ended this way to the point that it is almost expected to happen. I’m starting to catch myself trying to predict who will come out.
For example, I remember thinking to myself that the TNA World Champion, AJ Styles, hadn’t been on the show yet. Just then the Pope won his short, 2-minute main event match against Desmond Wolfe and I immediately knew that Styles would be coming out to attack Dinero from behind. Moments later, there he was… attacking Dinero from behind.
The one and only highlight of the show was the ladder match between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson. These two worked hard during this match and took some insane bumps, especially considering it was not a pay-per-view match. I hope that Angle is alright after that frightening bump he took and I hope that wasn’t how the spot was planned to go down.
I’d be surprised to see if the ladder match doesn’t pull in the highest ratings of the night for the show, even though the ending was pretty lame. Anderson choking out Angle with a think necklace? After all the two went through in the match a small little chain necklace can choke Angle out. Pretty anti-climatic considering how good the match was up until that point.
Aside from the ladder match, I guess another tiny highlight was the lack of backstage segments aired throughout the night. I don’t think we even saw the inside of Hulk Hogan’s office once, which is down from the usual 27 times we see it on a regular broadcast.
Finally, with all of the TNA releases as of late, why can’t Orlando Jordan fall onto the list? With wrestling, anything can and will happen, but still there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed – Sandman’s crucifixion and Katie Vick are a few examples – and I have a feeling that Orlando Jordan’s character will eventually fall into this category. The white liquid he put all over his body was totally uncalled for.
Now that I feel sick to my stomach, I have to announce that I will be gone next week. I am going to be at the “official” opening of the new home of the Minnesota Twins, Target Field, as baseball is my second love to wrestling. I guess my wife also ranks in there somewhere. At any rate, I will provide a late recap on the Hexagon Circle for those interested in hearing my thoughts.
