A video recap of last week’s Loser is Fired match between Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley is aired to kick off Impact. Jarrett is then seen in Hulk Hogan’s office earlier in the day where Hogan is apologizing to Jarrett about Eric Bischoff’s actions last week. Hogan says Jarrett will get a new start tonight and if he defeats AJ Styles in the ring tonight he will be the new #1 contender after Lockdown.
Jay Lethal then walks in to the office and says that he knows Hogan is heading to New York later on and offers to take his place on Impact. Hogan and Lethal share a Mega Powers moment as Hogan agrees to the idea and shakes on it. The Impact intro then hits as we are welcomed to this week’s show that will feature Daffney vs. Tara in a First Blood match for the TNA Knockouts Title and the Band against RVD/Jeff Hardy/Eric Young.
The Wolfpac music of the Band kicks off as they come down to the ring with Bubba the Love Sponge. Bubba runs down his list of accomplishments and says he doesn’t need to be in TNA but says he wants to hang with the Band. He says he will taking over the interview duties for the legends from this point forward. He then passes the microphone to Kevin Nash for a few words about Eric Young.
Nash says he and EY have become friends over the past year and invites him to come down for an apology. Young comes down to the ring and Nash says that what he did was business and not personal. He then invites Young to join the Band and Young thinks it over for a bit but decides to clock Nash with a right fist instead. The numbers, though, are too much for EY as the Band quickly takes him down before RVD and Hardy come out and clear the ring.
Jeff Hardy gets on the microphone and says that they are ready to do the six-man tag right now, but since they think they belong in the main event, they will wait until later on. Also, in honor of Lockdown, the match will take place inside of a steel cage.
Match 1: Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian & Shannon Moore
Shannon Moore goes right on the attack as the bell rings and tags in his partner who gets a quick pin attempt on Doug Williams. Williams is able to make it to his corner to tag in Brian Kendrick and the match breaks down for a moment as the referee is distracted as Kendrick and Williams takes control of the match. The two use quick tags to wear down Kaz until a midring collision allows Kaz to tag in Moore.
Moore cleans house before he takes down Williams with a hurricanrana from the top rope. Moore goes for a pin fall but Kendrick breaks it up. The match then breaks down with bodies flying everywhere until Moore hits a neckbreaker from the middle rope on Kendrick to pick up the pin fall.
After the match, Moore applies some black makeup to Kendrick’s face and shows Williams as he walks away with the X Division Title slung over his shoulder.
Eric Bischoff is sitting in the office and tells his new assistant to keep a certain man out of his office. Before he can tell her who it is, Jay Lethal walks in with his list of ideas for tonight’s card. Bischoff reads off the list that is full of wrestlers from the 80’s, which includes King Kong Bundy against the Junkyard Dog. Bischoff says he should think of something for the main event instead and Lethal agrees to it before walking out. Bischoff then tells his assistant to get Beer Money for him right away.
The Pope comes out to the ring to hype his TNA World Title match at Lockdown and tells AJ Styles to go to Cape Canaveral to pick up a space suit as he will take him to the outer limits. He then says he will come out as the champion at Lockdown and show the world that the Pope is pimpin’.
Chelsea comes out to the ring and the two trade sexual innuendos for a moment as Desmond Wolfe tries to sneak into the ring. The Pope senses the plan and kicks Wolfe out of the ring before giving Chelsea a kiss in the middle of the ring before dropping her down to the mat.
Grainy video of Samoa Joe is aired where he says “they have spoken and the results will be different.” The announce team discuss briefly about what Samoa Joe is talking about as they then run down tonight’s card. They are then interrupted by a man coming down to the ring from the rafters who is wrapped in police tape. It is Orlando Jordan and he begins crawling around the ring entrance ramp before walking to a set where he sits on a couch between a man and a woman.
We head to the back where Jeremy Borash is with Tara who says she is out for revenge as Daffney stole her pet spider. Tara says she will show Daffney about crazy and dangerous but Daffney runs in and attacks the Knockouts Champion. The two brawl in the back as Tara repeatedly rams Daffney’s head into a steel cage set up in the back and we head into a commercial break.
Match 2: Tara vs. Daffney (Knockouts Championship First Blood Match)
We return to Impact where the two have fought their way up the entrance ramp and this match officially begins. Daffney bites Tara’s forehead as they fight around the announce table. Daffney chokes Tara with a cable and drags her towards the ring before pulling out a broom and a toolbox from under the ring.
Daffney breaks to broomstick handle and goes after Tara but ends up on the wrong end of the Widow’s Peak. Tara then grabs the toolbox and smashes it over Daffney’s head which causes her to bleed a very small amount of blood as Tara is declared the winner. Daffney, though, just laughs and licks the blood off her hands.
Another video recap of last week’s match between Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley is aired. Jeff Jarrett’s match against AJ Styles is up next.
Match 3: Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles (Non-title Match)
Jeff Jarrett comes out with his regular music and pyro while Ric Flair is wheeled out to the ringside area by Chelsea. The match starts and Styles toys with Jarrett in the early moments of the match as Flair plays a few mind games from his wheelchair. Jarrett, though, finally comes back and sends Styles out to the floor with a clothesline. Jarrett mocks Flair a bit before heading out and rolling Styles back into the ring.
Back in the ring, Jarrett takes Styles down with an enziguri and picks up a near fall but Styles is able to mount a comeback. Styles locks Jarrett in the figure four but the referee breaks the hold after Styles is seen using Flair’s cane for leverage. Jarrett then locks Styles in the figure four and Flair is again using his cane, this time by hitting Jarrett with it and the referee summons TNA security to take Flair to the back. The distraction allows Jarrett to regain control of the match as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the match to see Styles in control with a front face lock. Styles then begins to methodically pick Jarrett apart until Jarrett takes Styles down with a back body drop. Jarrett then hits Styles with a Pedigree and nearly picks up the pin fall but Jarrett falls short with a high risk move. Styles comes back and hits Jarrett with a flying forearm and nearly picks up the three count but Jarrett is able to get his shoulder up.
Styles then tries to put Jarrett away with the Styles Clash, but Jarrett counters and slams Styles down to the mat. Ric Flair comes back out to the ring and gets the attention of the referee and Styles knocks Brian Hebner off the apron and onto the floor. In the ring, Jarrett hits the Stroke from the middle rope but there is no referee to make the count.
Eric Bischoff then sneaks in the ring and tries to busts a guitar over his head but Jarrett is able to sense in and takes it away from him. Jarrett teases hitting Bischoff with the guitar but Styles nails Jarrett with a low blow. Styles then hits the Styles Clash as Bischoff revives the referee to make a very slow three count.
Jeremy Borash is with Eric Young, Jeff Hardy and RVD and Young thanks his two partners for coming out to save him earlier. Young talks about coming up the ranks and earning his spot on the roster, while RVD and Hardy give their own thoughts on how the think the Band is going about business and EY says he traded up with his new partners.
Jay Lethal is seen in the back and gives Eric Bischoff his idea of the main event and says it will a match between Brutus Beefcake and Rick Martel. Bischoff gives his idea of the main event and puts Lethal in a match against a mystery opponent and he tells him to get to the ring as his match is up now.
Match 4: Jay Lethal vs. Beer Money (Handicap Match)
The bell rings as Beer Money begin to brutally beat Lethal down as the fans try to rally behind Black Machismo. Beer Money sends Lethal down hard on the mat with a high back body drop before heading out to the floor and sending him into the steel steps.
Beer Money brings the match back into the ring where Lethal finally gets in a little offense but he is quickly taken down. James Storm then heads for a drink of beer as Lethal rolls up Roode to pick up a surprising pin fall. Eric Bischoff is seen watching a monitor in the office and he cannot believe his eyes.
The announce team runs down what happened between Matt Morgan and Hernandez during their match last week. Taz says it could be several months before Hernandez can return as Mike Tenay says he suffered herniated discs and cervical damage to his neck and wishes Shawn well. Taz says we will also hear from Matt Morgan next week on his actions.
Match 5: Desmond Wolfe vs. D’Angelo Dinero
The match starts as the two go back and forth for a moment before Wolfe locks Dinero in a leg lock but the Pope is able to reverse it. Wolfe makes it to the ropes to break the hold and goes back on the attack and works over the Pope’s arm. Dinero is able to make a comeback with a Lou Thesz Press and hits his trademark corner elbow drop.
Chelsea then hops on the ring apron and distracts the Pope and referee Earl Hebner as Wolfe wraps a steel chain around his fist. Wolfe then knocks out an unsuspecting Pope and picks up the pin fall over the #1 contender.
The Six.. er.. Four Sides of Steel is set up around the ring as we hear Kurt Angle’s music hit. Angle makes his way towards the ring and sends a message to Mr. Anderson by saying they will battle on last time inside this steel cage. Angle says the only way to win the match will be to walk out of the cage door as he is interrupted by Anderson.
Anderson says it is time for them to be damn real and states that the two will kill each other with their little rivalry. He says they are 50/50 and now TNA management wants to put them in the cage to end it once and for all. Anderson then says that a little birdy told him in the back (Eric Bischoff) that a match was made for next week on Impact between the two of them in a ladder match. The two will fight for a key that opens the door to the steel cage at Lockdown.
Anderson then goes on to say that the better man will not win next week or at Lockdown and says that Angle is a better person than he is. Anderson states that Angle is a better role model, a better son, and a better father than he ever will be. Anderson says that nice guys, though, always finish last and that he is glad that he is an a$$hole….. a$$hole.
The Band’s music hits as it is time for the main event and while walking out to the ring, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash share a Wolfpac salute as we head into the final commercial break.
Match 6: The Band vs. Eric Young/Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy (Steel Cage Match)
As EY tries to get in the cage, Syxx-Pac swings the door into him and the fight goes out to the floor. Kevin Nash and Jeff Hardy are inside the cage as the bell sounds to officially start the match. RVD, Pac and Hall enter the cage and Syxx-Pac locks the door while EY is still out on the floor. The Band starts a 3-on-2 attack inside the cage and picks apart their opponents.
Hardy and Pac are able to work together for a moment before turning their attention on Hall and Nash. EY is seen climbing the side of the cage where Syxx-Pac tries to cut him off but RVD sends Pac crashing down to the mat. RVD and Hardy hit tandem high risk moves as EY then hits an elbow drop on Pac from the top of the cage. Hardy then holds Young down on Pac to pick up the pin fall victory.
We are treated to several angles of EY’s elbow drop from the top of the cage as we are told that Christy Hemme is standing by with Abyss who has a monster announcement. Abyss says that since he is the captain of Team Hogan he has chosen Jeff Jarrett as the first member of his team. Jarrett comes out and says he is proud to be on the team and is going to get rid of some pent up aggression in St. Louis.
We then head back to the Impact Zone to see Hardy, RVD and EY celebrate their victory as Impact comes to a close.
Quick Results
- Kazarian & Shannon Moore defeated Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick by pin fall.
- Tara defeated Daffney in a First Blood match to retain the Knockouts Championship.
- AJ Styles defeated Jeff Jarrett by pin fall to win the match.
- Jay Lethal defeated Beer Money in a handicap match by pin fall.
- Desmond Wolfe defeated D’Angelo Dinero by pin fall.
- Eric Young/Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy defeated the Band by pin fall in a steel cage match.
Starman’s Thoughts
Tonight’s show seemed to have a slow start and the main event didn’t live up to the hype, but it was probably best as they were going up against WWE Raw’s post-WrestleMania show. Not everything was entirely bad, though, as Impact featured a solid match in the middle of the show between Jeff Jarrett and AJ Styles.
The match between these two TNA mainstays was pretty decent, especially considering that it took place on Impact and lasted longer than most of all matches combined on some weeks. Due to the match stipulation with Jarrett becoming the #1 contender if he wins, I figured he was a lock, but he was once again screwed over by Bischoff.
Even with the shady finish to the match, it was still better than the main event. The Band just doesn’t do anything for me and the match just seemed awkward at moments with Hall and Nash basically standing in the corners of the ring. The ending was cool with the rapid fire high risk moves, but where does this bring us? Nowhere, really. The good guys defeated the bad guys even though they had an advantage. Time to move on, I guess… or at least I hope.
At any rate, I am glad that Jarrett didn’t win the match as I didn’t want people to look past the Pope and his match at Lockdown. Also, does Ric Flair play the best crotchety old man or what?
On to some other matches… the X Division tag team match seemed a little weird to me. Doesn’t Brian Kendrick fit into the X Division mold that Doug Williams is against? Also, I felt that it was strange that Shannon Moore was given a bigger spotlight than his partner as Kazarian is the #1 contender to the X Division Title.
As for the Knockouts, I know deep down somewhere that Tara and Daffney have at least one great match in them, but I still haven’t seen it. The first blood match, and I use that in the smallest sense, was definitely not it and I hope this feud gets good quick before I lose all interest. I’m not sure what it is as they are both great wrestlers but they just don’t work well together. Maybe because their personas are too similar or something, but I haven’t been this disinterested in the Knockouts in quite a while.
I will give them credit, though, as they haven’t quite stooped to the lows that have been seen of the WWE Divas as of late.
For the first time in what seems in months, Samoa Joe made a short video appearance. The video didn’t show much but I guess he is fine and I am glad that he wasn’t entirely forgotten about. Too bad the same can’t be said for Orlando Jordan. He came out to continue his bisexual angle and although he didn’t say anything, he did make me throw up in my mouth a little.
Now, only if Joe’s abductors could come back and take Jordan instead. There would be no need to send grainy videos to the Impact Zone either. I would be fine with that.
Hulk Hogan was gone this week as he was heading to New York for some business. I wonder if that was Long Island, New York, to apologize to Mick Foley for what Eric Bischoff did last week. Foley’s career may be coming to an end, but I don’t think we have seen the last of Foley in TNA.
Finally, Impact has a special start time next week and will air from 8PM EST/7PM CST. Many would say, myself included, that this should be a permanent change for the show to help get viewers to tune in to the show before Raw. I would be all for the idea but TNA has insisted that this is a one week only move because of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
They can say what they want, but I at least get to cut out early from my recap to watch the Minnesota Twins take on the Los Angeles Angels in the MLB season opener. Thanks TNA!
