Impact opens with a video package that talks about TNA going to war against the WWE, Mick Foley trying to get Jeff Jarrett back to TNA, Desmond Wolfe promising to end Kurt Angle’s career, and a bit of hype for the live edition of Impact that airs January 4th.
Footage from earlier in the day is aired where Foley walks into his office and Kevin Nash is sitting at his desk. Nash says he has arranged a meeting between him and Hogan and hands him some plane tickets and says it will happen tomorrow. In return, Nash wants to be able to run the show tonight, which Foley agrees to before handing Nash the footage of the meeting between him and Jeff Jarrett.
Foley leaves and takes Jeremy Borash with him and Nash begins to make a few calls. His first call is to the head of security and asks for the security footage of the office from the past three months. The Impact intro hits as we are welcomed to this week’s show that will be run by Nash as Mike Tenay wonders what he has up his sleeve.
Nash’s music hits as he comes down to the ring along with Eric Young. Nash says he gets to run the festivities tonight and begins to run down the card which will feature the British Invasion in a 3-on-1 handicap match against Chris Sabin and a mixed tag match of Scott Steiner and a knockout of his choice against Bobby & Kristal Lashley. Eric Young will defend his Global Championship on U.S. soil against Hamada.
If that wasn’t enough, Tara will face ODB in a trailer park throw down in which both must guzzle a six pack of beer prior to the match. Also, Team 3D, Rhino and Jesse Neal will face off against D’Angelo Dinero, Hernandez, Matt Morgan and Suicide where the loser of the match will have to start the elimination match at Final Resolution by themselves for 5 minutes. Oh yeah, Lacey Von Erich will face Velvet Sky in a mud wrestling match. Nash will also take money for a title shot against AJ Styles.
Footage of Mick Foley’s trip to Nashville is aired. Foley is seen walking around the TNA offices looking for Dixie Carter but nobody knows where she is. Foley walks into a room where Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara are sitting in and he tells them to write a vignette where Dixie actually returns his phone calls. In another room, an employee says that he might find Jeff Jarrett at a place called Meat and Three and Foley decides to head there.
Mike Tenay and Taz talk about the upcoming live edition of Impact that will take place on Monday, January 4th. They also hype the upcoming footage between Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett.
Match 1: The British Invasion vs. Chris Sabin (3-on-1 Handicap Match)
Chris Sabin holds his own in the opening moments before Big Rob takes him down with a shoulder block that turns him inside out. The numbers game catches up with Sabin and the trio methodically wears him down until some miscommunication allows Sabin to get in a flurry of offense and picks up an unexpected win with a cradle rollup on Big Rob. Alex Shelley comes out and congratulates his partner as Doug Williams and Brutus Magnus get in Terry’s face.
Christy Hemme, who has taken JB’s role tonight, is with Scott Steiner and asks who will be his partner in the mixed tag team match. Steiner says his Mafia partner, Nash, told him to find a freak and he will find a freak. He then hurls some threats at the Lashleys, which even includes their 2 year old son, before leaving the dressing room.
Foley arrives at the Meat and Three restaurant and talks to an older lady named Ruby about the whereabouts of Jeff Jarrett. She says she hasn’t seen him in about a month and she says that she will let him know if she does hear from him.
Match 2: Bobby & Kristal Lashley vs. Scott Steiner & Awesome Kong (Mixed Tag Team Match)
Lashley goes right on the attack but Steiner retreats to the floor before heading into the ring. The two go back at it in the ring and Lashley continues to work over Steiner but he cannot put him away. Kong finally gets into the match and trips up Lashley before coming into the match and accidently hitting Steiner.
The fight goes out to the floor and Steiner tosses Lashley into the steel steps before he backs Kristal into the ring and she runs into Kong. Kong slams her down to the mat and Kong goes for a high risk move but Steiner covers Kristal in a seductive way to pick up the pin fall. To show how classy he is, Steiner does some push ups over Kristal’s body before leaving the ring.
Lauren is backstage with Samoa Joe and announces that Feast or Fired will return at Final Resolution. Joe is the first official entrant who says he signed up to finally get back into the World Championship picture. Joe says he is going to walk in there and get his title shot. Beer Money walks in and also put their names as Robert Roode says another shot at the tag team championship is worth their careers. James Storm questions that but Roode says they have no other choice.
The Beautiful People are in the locker room and complaining about having to be in a mud wrestling match. Kevin Nash walks in and says that their match is for ratings and all eyes are going to be on them and even he is excited for it. Nash then talks Madison Rayne into being the special referee for the match and they say that they have a deal.
A video package that highlights Sting’s career in TNA and if he is going to return to wrestling or not. It focuses on Sting no-showing his interview and if it has anything to do with Hulk Hogan’s partnership with TNA.
Footage of the UFC event from the past Saturday is aired. At the event, Hogan announced that TNA Impact will be live and going up against Monday Night Raw on January 4th.
Lauren is backstage with Tara who is trying hard to down a six pack of Corona. Tara doesn’t think it is funny that she has to drink before a match but wants to get her hands on ODB, so she would even drink a keg to do so.
Christy Hemme is in the locker room with Eric Young who says he won’t defend the title on American soil for anyone, but will do so for his buddy Nash. Young talks up Hamada and asks if she has what it really takes and says that it may be an initiation of sorts. He wants her to try to beat her for the title and wants her to give it her all.
Match 3: Hamada vs. Eric Young (Global Championship Intergender Match)
EY toys with Hamada in the opening moments but she clocks him with a spin kick to the head and begins lacing him with a series of chops. She then hits a top rope hurricanrana and nearly picks up the pin fall. Hamada finally misses with a moonsault and EY pins her while using the ropes for leverage to win the match.
The Beautiful People are in the locker room and are going over ways to spike the ratings. They talk about having a wardrobe malfunction but decide to just go out there and wrestle.
Mick Foley is seen driving around and going up to Barefoot Charlies looking for I40. The employee says gives Foley directions and as he was about to leave, he hears Jeff Jarrett’s voice as he is sitting at the edge of the bar.
ODB is in the back and is throwing back some beers as Christy Hemme walks in. ODB wonders who would name a match a trailer park throw down. She calls it a business as usual match and promises to give Tara a hangover that lasts through Final Resolution.
Match 4: Tara vs. ODB (Trailer Park Throw Down)
Items and weapons are lined up outside the ring and Tara uses a 5 gallon bucket to take ODB down to the ground. The fight continues on the entrance ramp where ODB spits liquor in Tara’s eyes and follows with a cookie sheet over the head. The fight goes into the ring where ODB sends Tara into a ladder but it doesn’t keep Tara down. ODB begins to choke Tara with a tiki torch but Tara fights back with a trash can lid but that’s about all she can do as she begins to stumble around the ring. ODB then drives Tara down onto a chair to pick up the pin fall.
Footage of the meeting between Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett is aired and Jarrett questions why Foley even came out looking for him. Foley says he knows Jarrett can’t stay away from wrestling but Jarrett says he doesn’t have time for all of this.
Mike Tenay informs us that Abyss has been brutally attacked by Raven and Dr. Stevie. Footage of the attack was too brutal and SpikeTV would not allow them to air it. He tells the fans to go to tnawrestling.com to watch the footage.
Team 3D, Rhino and Jesse Neal come out to the ring and Neal is decked out in the Pope’s ring gear. Brother Ray says tonight’s match is going to be a handicap match as Dinero isn’t going to make it out tonight.
Match 5: Team 3D/Rhino/Jesse Neal vs. Matt Morgan/Hernandez/Suicide (7-Man Tag Team Match)
The bell rings and both sides go back and forth to feel each other out. Brother Ray finally gets the advantage and begins working over Suicide. His team uses quick tags and isolates the ring to wear Suicide down but Suicide is able to finally take Devon down with a dropkick and makes the hot tag to Hernandez. Hernandez comes in and cleans house flies over the rope to take them all out.
Hernandez then goes back into the ring and slams Neal in the ring but he is able to kick out. Both sides then go back and forth and hit all of their signature moves with Hernandez even giving Devon the Border Toss. As it looks like Hernandez has this match won, Neal comes in and spears Hernandez for the pin fall. The fight continues after the match until the Pope runs out with his leg all wrapped up and chases them out of the ring with a cane.
A video package showing Tomko working out is aired. The video ends by saying Tomko is back.
The announce team is wearing ponchos and holding umbrellas as the mud wrestling match is up next.
Match 6: Velvet Sky vs. Lacey Von Erich (Mud Wrestling Match w/ Madison Rayne as the referee)
The mud filled pool is set up next to the announce table as three step into it. The bell rings as Velvet takes Lacey down and they roll around in the mud. They finally pull Madison down into the mud and Velvet quickly pins Lacey. The three then roll around in the mud some more before they all hug each other.
Lauren is backstage with Jay Lethal who says his Jay Lethal Invitational will return next match. Lethal says he doesn’t know who he is wrestling but he has a master plan as he will be coming out on top.
More footage of Foley and Jarrett’s meeting is aired. Foley talks about how Jarrett talked Foley into investing in TNA but Jarrett will have nothing of it. Jarrett says he started TNA with his own money and all of a sudden he was sent home. Foley lays down a guilt trip about getting rid of his problems at the bottom of a bottle and Jarrett suddenly wants to talk.
The main event is up next and the announcers are wondering who the highest bidder is.
Match 7: AJ Styles vs. Desmond Wolfe (TNA World Championship)
Desmond Wolfe was the highest bidder and he bought himself a title shot against the TNA World Champion. Kurt Angle comes down the ramp and sits with the broadcast team as this match gets under way. Angle mentions that he put a bid in but was outbid in the end. In the ring, Styles and Wolfe work each other over with a wrist lock until Styles finally connects with a dropkick. One mistake by Styles, though, and Wolfe is there to pick at the remains.
Wolfe works over Styles’ arm but Styles comes back with a series of chops and hits the flying forearm. Styles hits Wolfe with a shoulder block and Wolfe kicks Styles between the legs on the way down but he claims it was an accident. With Styles down, Daniels comes down to the ring and distracts Wolfe which allows Styles to roll up Wolfe for the pin fall.
After the match, Wolfe and Daniels get in each others faces before coming to blows. Referees have to come in and separate the two as Daniels yells at Wolfe that it is supposed to be his shot at the title.
The remaining footage of Foley and Jarrett’s meeting is aired and Foley is trying to get Jarrett to talk to Dixie Carter. Foley proposes that Jarrett comes into the Impact Zone next week for a new start. Jarrett agrees to the plan and shakes Foley’s hand as Impact comes to a close.
Quick Results
- Chris Sabin defeated the British Invasion in a 3-on-1 handicap match by pin fall.
- Scott Steiner & Awesome Kong defeated Bobby & Kristal Lashley by pin fall.
- Eric Young defeated Hamada by pin fall to retain the Global Championship.
- ODB defeated Tara by pin fall in a trailer park throw down.
- Team 3D/Rhino/Jesse Neal defeated Matt Morgan/Hernandez/Suicide by pin fall to win the advantage at Final Resolution.
- Velvet Sky defeated Lacey Von Erich by pin fall in a mud wrestling match.
- AJ Styles defeated Desmond Wolfe by pin fall to retain the TNA World Championship.
Starman’s Thoughts
I think Taz summed up tonight’s broadcast with one line he stated during the show. After one of the matches he said, “That was different. Definitely different.” That about says it all in a nutshell.
I knew this could potentially be a horrendous show when Kevin Nash began reading off the matches he had in store for the fans. If horrendous is what they were going for, then they succeeded. There really isn’t much I can even offer about this show as it would pain me to go back and actually think about it.
I did take a couple of notes during the show and I will quickly run through them here.
The Scott Steiner/Bobby Lashley feud has now completely emulated the Rick Rude/Jake Roberts feud of the past with Steiner having Kristal Lashley’s face airbrushed on the front of his wrestling tights. All Steiner needs to do now is to tell the freaks to keep the noise down while he takes off his chain mail headpiece.
Why was there no mention or showing of people talking to Kevin Nash and placing their bids to buy a shot at the title? This could have been at least entertaining with some of the mid-card talent putting in their measly offers. Give us something like Kiyoshi trying to place his bid in yen or something. Anything would have been better than nothing.
Last week Tara turned on the water works about how she was humiliated while working for the WWE and how she wanted to come to TNA where she could wrestle other talented females. This week she has to down a six pack before taking part in a trailer park thrown down. How is that humiliation working out for you now?
To take my mind off of tonight’s show, I did some Google searches during the show and found out that both the Meat and Three and Barefoot Charlie’s exist in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Here are both of their locations on Google Maps: Meat and Threes / Barefoot Charlie’s.
That’s about all I got for this week. I am hoping they raise the bar a little for next week’s show.
