Hulkamania comes to TNA (10/29 Impact Recap)

Impact opens with footage of the huge signing of Hulk Hogan.  The voiceover guy tells us to be part of history as Hogan makes his TNA debut.  The Impact intro hits and we head into a recap of Kurt Angle’s promo about the young guys from last week and the brutal attack at the hands of Desmond Wolfe.

Desmond Wolfe’s music then hits as he makes his way out to the ring dressed in a suite and carrying a microphone.  Wolfe formally introduces himself to the crowd and says he is not the next best thing, but he is the only thing.  He says he was raised as a fighter, is destined to be a champion and will make his mark on TNA.  Wolfe goes on to say that he could have broken Angle’s neck last week but instead he made his mark and became the best wrestler in TNA in a matter of one night.

Kurt Angle’s music hits and he comes out to tell Wolfe that he has overstayed his welcome in TNA and will be leaving tonight.  Angle says the wrestlers in the back have earned his respect, while Wolfe has earned nothing before warning him that he missed with the wrong guy.  Angle goes on to say the two will go at it in the ring in a good old fashioned street fight and promises to beat his ass like it has never been beaten before.

Lauren is in the locker room with AJ Styles and they are watching footage of last week’s attack in the parking lot.  Styles says he doesn’t know who did it and is about to send him a message before Samoa Joe comes in and tells him to tell it to his face.  Joe says it was easy to figure out and pins it on Daniels and runs down a list of excuses.  Styles doesn’t want to believe it as Joe walks away.

Awesome Kong is seen destroying a dressing room as Mike Tenay says that this is due to the fact that she no longer has her handler in Raisha Saeed.  The announce team then talk about the exclusive footage of Hogan’s press conference that will air later in the show.

Match 1: Alissa Flash vs. Tara
Alissa gets in some early offense before Tara ties her with a tarantula and connects with a springboard leg drop.  Alissa comes back with a clothesline and begins to wear Tara down but she isn’t able to put her away.  The two then begin fighting on the turnbuckle and Tara is able to take her down to the mat with a superplex.  Tara then connects with a series of clotheslines and gets a two count after hitting a snap suplex.  Soon after, Tara hits a fireman’s carry side slam for the pin fall.

Awesome Kong’s music then hits as she comes running down to the ring and kicks Tara right in the face.  Kong then drives Tara down on top of Alissa with the Implant Buster before leaving the ring.

Team 3D are in the locker room when Rhino walks in.  Rhino says that he thought Team 3D saw the light last week with what the younger stars are trying to do to them and what TNA management is allowing them to do.  Brother Ray says it is nothing but a conspiracy theory and calls him paranoid and insane.  Rhino tells the two to watch their backs as something is going down as they are all in on it.

Match 2: The Motorcity Machine Guns vs. Team 3D
The match starts and Alex Shelley takes Devon down with a kick to the face but Devon fires back with a quick power slam.  The partners are tagged in and Chris Sabin takes down Ray with a cross body block but Ray fires back and slams Sabin down to the mat.  Devon and Shelley are tagged back into the match as Sabin is lying in the corner.  A trainer goes out to check out Sabin as the numbers game begins to catch up with his partner.  Shelley, though, is able to mount a comeback and gets Devon to tap out in a single leg Boston crab to win the match.

Brother Ray comes in to complain and says that Brother Devon did not tap out as Mike Tenay likens the situation to all of the blown calls the MLB umpires have made during this year’s postseason.

Lauren is backstage with Scott Steiner who says he is here today to apologize to Bobby Lashley’s wife since he is sorry for her for never being with a real man.  Steiner says he knows she wants to be with him and he’s going to make it happen.  Steiner then says that he is going to be watching Lashley’s match tonight and has a big surprise for Kristal Lashley.

A brief segment of Hermie’s Hotseat is aired with Amazing Red and Don West.  Red talks about doing action in the ring and West is the one who does the talking for him.  The rest of the interview can be found online.

Match 3: Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley (TNA Legends Championship)
Kristal Lashley is seen watching on from the crowd as her husband quickly begins to pull apart EY in the ring.  The fight goes out to the floor and Lashley sends him into the guard railing and rolls him into the ring, however, Steiner, who is wearing a shirt with Kristal airbrushed on it, is waiting nearby and takes Lashley down with a clothesline.  Steiner then poses in front of Kristal and Lashley drills him from behind, but EY also hits Lashley from behind and rolls him into the ring.

The match returns to the ring and Lashley locks in the Dragon Sleeper but Steiner enters the ring and nails Lashley with a steel chair, which causes the referee to toss the match out.  Steiner then locks in the Steiner Recliner as Young celebrates with the TNA Legends Championship.

The World Elite come into the ring and Brutus Magnus informs the crowd that the British Invasion has been suspended without pay until Turning Point for hitting the referee last week.  Magnus says it was a small price to pay to leave with the belts.

Eric Young then gets on the microphone and says that the Legends Championship is dead and renames it as the TNA Global Championship.  Young says the belt will never be defended on American soil and never be defended against an American wrestler.  Kevin Nash’s music then interrupts his announcement as he walks out of the tunnel with a chair.

Nash says he thought they had a deal at Bound for Glory and he didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.  Nash says he didn’t think being paid in Iranian money was very funny and wonders if this is how they do business.  Beer Money then enter the ring from the other side and attack the World Elite with a chair and a stop sign as EY and Homicide run out of the ring.  Nash says Young can run, but he can’t hide.

Daniels goes in to talk with AJ Styles and they two get into an argument about what Samoa Joe said earlier in the night.  Daniels then walks away and says he is going to settle things with Joe.

Match 4: The Beautiful People vs. ODB/Christy Hemme/Hamada
The match starts and Christy Hemme and Hamada work over the Beautiful People.  Hamada goes for a high risk move but Velvet Sky pushes her off the ropes to give her team the advantage.  The trio works her over with quick tags in their corner and pick up several near falls.  Hamada finally connects with a dropkick and tags in ODB, who cleans house before tagging in Christy Hemme.  Christy misses with the FFG and Lacey picks her up and slams her down with a chokeslam to pick up the pin fall.

After the match, Awesome Kong’s music hits as she comes down to the ring but Tara stops her as the two begin to brawl in the ringside area.  Security come out to separate the two with one holding back Tara and the rest holding back Kong.

After a commercial break, we see that the battle between Kong and Tara is still raging backstage with security still trying to break it up.  We then see footage of the Monster’s Ball match between Abyss and Mick Foley from Bound for Glory, which brings us to our next match.

Dr. Stevie comes down to the ring with a microphone and says that Abyss may be a monster, but Abyss also created a monster in Dr. Stevie.

Match 5: Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss (No Disqualification)
The match starts on the entrance ramp before it heads back to the ring and Abyss takes Stevie down with a hard chop.  Abyss sends Stevie out to the floor and continues the fight on the floor before Abyss tosses in a couple of garbage cans worth of weapons into the ring.  Stevie turns the tide by throwing a chair into Abyss’ face and follows by beating him with a hockey stick.  Stevie then tries for a superkick but Abyss blocks it and counters with the Shock Treatment for the pin fall.

After the match is over, Dr. Stevie connects with a couple of shots from a kendo stick as Mick Foley’s music hits.  Foley comes down to the ring and takes the kendo stick away and nails Stevie with it.  Foley then leaves the ring as Abyss looks on in disbelief.

After a commercial break, Jeremy Borash meets up with Foley who says he has no comment for what just happened.  He says what happened was between him and Abyss before he walks away laughing.

Match 6: Rhino vs. Matt Morgan
The bell rings and Morgan begins to quickly tear apart Rhino.  The match heads out to floor and Rhino gets the upper hand before rolling Morgan back into the ring.  Rhino begins to wear down Morgan with kicks and punches until Morgan fires off a series of clotheslines to turn the tide.  Morgan goes for a choke slam but Rhino counters with a belly-to-belly suplex.  Rhino sets up for the Gore but Morgan counters with a Carbon Footprint to score the pin fall.

After the match, Rhino attacks Morgan from behind and takes him down with another belly-to-belly suplex before hitting the Gore.  Rhino sets up for another one but Hernandez runs out and chases Rhino out of the ring.  Rhino gets on the microphone and says only the strongest survive in TNA and nobody will take him out.

Daniels meets up with Samoa Joe in the hallway and tells him to stop playing mind games with AJ Styles.  Daniels says he wouldn’t ever do that to Styles and Joe begins to get in Daniels’ head by telling him that Styles looks down on him and doesn’t think he is in the same league.

As Don West is busy promoting TNA’s live events, Homicide interrupts and demands an X Division Title shot against Amazing Red at Turning Point.  Homicide then steals West’s wallet and takes his money and his driver’s license.

Jeremy Borash is with Kurt Angle who says Desmond Wolfe will pay for what he did last week.  JB asks if maybe there is someone else is behind it and Angle says he is sounding like Rhino and promises to send Wolfe back from where he came from.

Lauren is backstage where AJ Styles is laid out in the back and is bleeding from the back of the head.  Trainers and agents are around him and nobody knows what happened.  After a break, Styles is carried away on an ambulance and says she will keep us updated on his condition tonight and to check tnawrestling.com throughout the week for more information.

Match 7: Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
Kurt Angle goes on the attack as soon as the bell rings and stomps a mudhole in him in the corner of the ring.  Angle tries for a German suplex but Wolfe blocks it by holding on to the ring ropes but Angle clotheslines Wolfe out to the floor.  The fight goes out to the ringside area and Wolfe connects with an back elbow to Angle’s face to turn the momentum of the match.

The match goes back into the ring and he connects with a European uppercut and Wolfe goes for a lariat but Angle ducks out of the way and counters with a series of German suplexes.  Wolfe gets up almost immediately, though, and he connects with a lariat.  Earl Hebner tries to get Wolfe to stop and tells him that Angle is defenseless and Wolfe begins to scream in Angle’s face about ending his career.  After a commercial break, we see Angle being stretchered out of the ring.

Footage of the Hulk Hogan press conference is aired.  Eric Bischoff introduces Hogan who in turns introduces Dixie Carter as his business partner.  Carter says Hogan’s name is one of the most recognizable people in the world and that she is thrilled for him to be joining TNA.  Hogan says he feels like he has been born again and says that TNA is the company that will take wrestling into the future.  Hogan then ended with a trademark “whatcha gonna do” as Impact comes to a close.

Quick Results
- Tara defeated Alissa Flash by pin fall.
- The Motorcity Machine Guns defeated Team 3D by submission.
- Eric Young and Bobby Lashley fought to a no contest.
- The Beautiful People defeated ODB/Christy Hemme/Hamada by pin fall.
- Abyss defeated Dr. Stevie by pin fall in a no disqualification match.
- Matt Morgan defeated Rhino by pin fall.
- Kurt Angle and Desmond Wolfe fought to a no contest.

Starman’s Thoughts
The major wrestling news of the week was about TNA signing, or “partnering” as they called it tonight, the legend that is Hulk Hogan.  As most of the wrestling world knows, Impact is taped well in advance, however, TNA did a great job in splicing in footage of the signing and redubbing the commentary from the announce team to at least give the fans some news on the huge partnership.  It could have turned off some viewers had they waited to say anything about it, so you have to give TNA credit for striking while the iron was hot.

Unfortunately, not everything went smoothly as I really felt the main event became overshadowed by the Hogan news.  Last week’s Impact ended with a bang with the debuting Desmond Wolfe brutally attacking Kurt Angle to end the show.  This week, Wolfe got the better of Angle in the main event and left him lifeless in the ring.  Angle had to be stretchered out, however, TNA cut to the Hogan footage so quickly that the Angle/Wolfe match lost everything it had going for it.

Just think for a moment how much more meaningful it would have been had Impact ended with Wolfe standing over a dazed Angle telling him that he could end his career at any moment.  Yes, the news of Hogan is huge, but it could have been aired at a different time and had the same effect.  Cutting so quickly from someone getting stretchered out of the ring and into a press conference video package made the angle look second rate.

Yes, Hulk Hogan has only been in TNA for a couple of days and he is already getting on my nerves.

In between all of the Hogan talk, a few other things stuck out to me during tonight’s broadcast.  First of all, I loved how Awesome Kong has this new untamed edge to her.  Sure, she has pretty much always been so dominating, but I just love how she came out to the ring on a couple of occasions and put so much fear into the Knockout Division.  Kong is a monster and should be booked as such.

Next, I was surprised to hear that the Eric Young renamed the TNA Legends Championship to the TNA Global Championship.  I guess we’ll see if the name sticks, but I, for one, personally hated the name “Legends Championship.”  Global has a better ring to it, although there isn’t much that separates the word “world” or “global.”  It’s all semantics, really.  Plus, getting rid of the name “Legends” removes the final piece to what was known as Booker T in TNA.

Finally, I couldn’t help but have a flashback to the 1980’s when I saw Scott Steiner come out wearing an airbrushed shirt with Kristal Lashley on it.  Who does he think he is, Rick Rude?  Is he going to start asking the crowd to keep the noise down as he takes of his robe next week?