Impact opens with a recap of last week’s events as the voiceover guy wonders if Jeff Jarrett is going to answer Sting’s challenge. We see footage of Jeremy Borash meeting up with Sting in the parking lot and wonders what he has in store for tonight. Sting says two words: Jeff Jarrett.
The video game intro hits as we are welcomed to tonight’s show that will feature a Bimbo Brawl between Awesome Kong and Roxxi, a beauty pageant, and an open challenge from Abyss.
Samoa Joe comes down to the ring with a microphone in his hand. Samoa Joe says that he isn’t leaving tonight unless he has Sting’s head on a silver platter. Kevin Nash comes out the tunnel and warns Joe not to lose his temper or focus as there will be three guys gunning for his title this Sunday. Nash goes on to say that he has set up a match tonight to get Joe ready against three competitors. Joe agrees to the challenge and says that he will be going after Sting when he gets through with them.
Lauren is standing by with the Beautiful People and Kip James. Angelina Love says that she will win the Knockout Championship on Sunday, but tonight she will humiliate Taylor Wilde in the beauty pageant. They leave and Lauren tells us that Abyss’ open challenge is next and wonders who will answer the challenge as Christian Cage walks by with a smile on his face.
Match 1: Abyss vs. Christian Cage
Cage isn’t able to get much offense going as Abyss methodically powers him around the ring. The referee is Shane Sewell as Mike Tenay says that he was reprimanded last week by Cornette for his actions during the X Division contenders match and says that it will now be a triple threat between Consequences Creed, Sheik Abdul Bashir and Petey Williams for the title.
Back to the action, Cage is able to nail Abyss with a flying forearm from the middle rope to finally gain the advantage. Cage tries for a frog splash but Abyss is able to catch him by the throat. Cage is able to counter into an attempt at the Unprettier but Abyss is able to escape. Abyss then comes back with a choke slam but Cage is able to kick out before the three count.
Abyss gets Cage up for the Shock Treatment, but Cage escapes and comes back with the Unprettier. Cage rolls Abyss over for the pin fall but Kurt Angle and Booker T run into the ring and start beating Cage down as the referee stops the match. Angle goes out and grabs a chair and hands it to Abyss as both Angle and Booker hold Cage. Abyss, however, drops the chair and starts swinging at Angle and Booker.
The numbers are too much for Abyss as they are able to beat Abyss down but Matt Morgan runs out to help Abyss before they are able to do any real damage. Morgan then tosses out a challenge for a tag team match between Angle and Booker against him and Abyss.
Jeremy Borash is standing by in the ring for the beauty pageant. He says there will be three events during the pageant and they are an evening gown competition, a talent competition and a bikini competition. He then introduces the Prince Justice Brotherhood as the pageant judges.
Angelina Love, along with Velvet Sky and Kip James, and Taylor Wilde come out to the ring with their evening gowns on. After they both do their walks around the ring and both Shark Boy and Super Eric give their vote for Taylor as Angelina Love only picks up Curry Man’s vote.
Sonjay Dutt is backstage with Lauren who says that he will win the love and heart of SoCal Val at No Surrender and will do it by any means necessary.
The next edition of Karen’s Angle airs and this week’s guest is Sting. Sting says that he was willing to walk away from the business but wanted to bring the respect back into the business before he left. He then says that the business will disintegrate without respect and will teach the younger stars the meaning of the word. Karen asks where Jeff Jarrett fits in all of this as Sting says he is on the edge of his seat and can’t wait to hear what he has to say.
Mike Tenay and Don West run down the No Surrender card as we see AJ Styles walking to the ring with a microphone. Styles calls out Frank Trigg as we head into a commercial break. After the break, Trigg comes down to the ring and throws out a challenge to have a match in his style with three 5-minute rounds and the winner will be only be decided by submission. Styles agrees to it before slapping Trigg across the face. The two begin to brawl and have to be separated by security.
Lauren is standing by with Christian Cage who tells his three opponents at No Surrender that it will take a lot to keep him down. Cage reminds them that it is in backyard, just one hour away from where he grew up, cut his teeth, and paid his dues. He says it will all come full circle in only three seconds when he regains the World Championship.
Jeremy Borash is standing in the ring for the second part of the beauty pageant and it is time for the bikini contest. Taylor has on a stars and stripes bikini on as she disrobes is the ring. Angelina goes out to the judges to disrobe to try to sway the voting. As for the voting, Curry Man and Shark Boy vote for Love and Super Eric votes for Wilde and we are all tied up.
A video package highlighting the upcoming match between Awesome Kong and ODB is aired, which leads us to the Bimbo Brawl.
Match 2: Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi (Bimbo Brawl)
I had to recheck to make sure this was the second match of the night as we are already into the second hour of the show. Roxxi comes down to the ring with a shopping cart of weapons. Kong meets her on the ramp and sends her into the railing before tossing her into the crowd. They head back to the ring area and Roxxi is able to send Kong headfirst into the steps as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the fight to see Roxxi hit Kong a few times with a trash can lid. Roxxi then sends Kong into a chair with a drop toe hold but isn’t able to keep her down for the three count. The fans begin to get behind her but Kong levels her with a hard clothesline.
Kong slams Roxxi on a chair but misses with a splash from the middle rope and catches the chair. Roxxi goes for the pin but she still isn’t able to keep Kong down. As Roxxi argues with the ref’s about his three count, Kong gets back to her feet and throws the chair at Roxxi that busts her forehead open. One Awesome Bomb later and Kong is the winner.
After the match, Raisha Saeed sets up a couple of chairs and Kong is about to power bomb her through the chairs but ODB comes out and chases them out with a chair of her own.
Match 3: Kevin Nash’s Triple Challenge
Johnny Devine is up to be Joe’s first competition and attacks him from behind to get the match started, however one Death Valley Driver later and this one is done quick.
Lance Rock is the next one out to face Samoa Joe who is met by a flurry of punches. Joe takes Rock down with a kick and locks on the rear naked choke for the win.
The third a final competitor is Tomko. The two trade blows in the ring until Tomko nails Joe with a hard clothesline. Joe fights back, though, with a superkick before trying for the muscle buster but Tomko blocks it. Tomko comes back with a double hand choke slam but it isn’t enough to put Joe away. Joe counters a power bomb attempt and drops Tomko hard on his neck. Joe then lands the muscle buster for the win.
Kevin Nash enters in the ring with a microphone and tells Joe that he proved him wrong and says that he is more than ready. Nash then says that he taught Joe all he knows and tells him that he is on his own before giving Joe a hug and leaving the ring.
The third and final event of the beauty pageant is up and there is a drum set in the ring. Angelina Love’s talent will be an oral presentation, which is up first. Love recites a poem she wrote about Taylor before doing a bad duet with Velvet Sky.
Taylor is up next and she will be playing the drums. Taylor plays a pretty basic drum solo, never breaking a standard 4/4 drum beat. As for the judges voting, Curry Man once again votes for Angelina Love and Shark Boy and Super Eric vote for Taylor Wilde, who is the winner of the beauty pageant.
After the match, the Beautiful People beat on Wilde and ruin her long stem roses. Rhino finally runs out to the ring and chases them out of the ring.
A video package highlighting the Four Ways to Glory match for No Surrender, which brings us to our next match that will feature two of the competitors.
Match 4: Booker T & Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss
Morgan starts out against Angle and picks up a near fall in the opening moments of the match after a side slam. Abyss is tagged into the match and takes Angle down with a big boot before this match breaks down and we head into a commercial break.
We return to see Morgan slamming Angle down to the mat, but a distraction by Booker allows Angle to turn the match around. Booker and Angle cut off the ring and work over Morgan in their corner until Morgan blocks a suplex attempt and delivers a suplex of his own to Angle. Abyss gets tagged in and takes both Angle and Booker down with a double clothesline.
Morgan takes Angle to the outside and Abyss hits Booker with the Black Hole Slam. Morgan begins to tie up the referee as Team 3D sneak down to the ring and crack Abyss in the head with a chair. The referee turns around in time to make the three count as Angle has Abyss covered.
Sting comes out to the ring with a microphone and tells Jeff Jarrett to come out from wherever he is hiding at. Sting also calls out Joe, who is seen standing in the rafters. Joe invites Sting to come to No Surrender and tells him that he has backup in the form of Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett’s music hits and we see him standing above the tunnel with a guitar in his hand.
A video package highlighting No Surrender airs as Impact come to a close.
Quick Results
- Abyss and Christian Cage went to a no-contest.
- Awesome Kong defeated Roxxi by pin fall in a Bimbo Brawl.
- Samoa Joe defeated Johnny Devine, Lance Rock and Tomko in a Triple Challenge match.
- Kurt Angle & Booker T defeated Matt Morgan & Abyss by pin fall.
Starman’s Thoughts
If I never see a wrestler walking to the ring with a microphone in his hand again, it will be too soon. Tonight’s Impact was very heavy on the interviews and segments and had little to do with total nonstop action. To look on the bright side, at least we weren’t getting pointless matches such as the ones we witnessed on the go home show for Hard Justice. Tonight’s matches, as few of them as there were, at least furthered the storylines leading into the pay-per-view.
After seeing the beauty pageant, I hope that it was the first and last annual pageant of its kind. For starters, it was easy to tell what was going to happen even before the first round began, especially since the judges were the Prince Justice Brotherhood. Furthermore, the pageant itself was drawn out far too long, even for TNA’s biggest ratings draw. It got to the point where I began dreading the segments and wished for it all to end quickly, but it didn’t.
There was no Rough Cut segment at all tonight, which is surprising considering that everything else was a promo or video package. The lack of that segment was made up for what has been the best Karen’s Angle segment thus far. It was nice to see TNA actually use this time as a way to have someone voice their thoughts without having to trash the set or have security charge in. As far as Sting goes, he showed a lot of emotion in his answers and I was able to take him more seriously without having to stare at a face covered in grease paint.
A few more small random thoughts before I finish … Jeff Jarrett made his return to television at the tail end of the broadcast in what could be called one of the more lackluster finishes to Impact in recent weeks. I figured that he would be saved for the pay-per-view, so I was a bit surprised to see him at all … How many pints of blood has Roxxi spilled inside of a TNA ring? It seems that she always the one getting busted open and tonight was no different. The cut she had on her forehead looked pretty deep … Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles in a MMA style match? I wonder if this means Trigg’s transition into wrestling wasn’t successful or if this is the first in a series of matches between these two … Christian Cage showed us once again why he is the best man on the microphone once again. Cage is the odd man in the main event as he is the only one who doesn’t have any recent history against the World Champion. In one promo, though, he claimed his spot and made me believe that he may be the dark horse in the four way match … Tomko returned to a TNA ring and was beaten down by the champion in a few minutes. I guess that’s what you get for leaving the company.
Don’t forget to come back this weekend to ready my No Surrender preview and predictions.
