Final Sacrifice (5/8 Impact Recap)

No recap from last week tonight as we start right off with the Impact intro.  Mike Tenay and Don West then hype the Sacrifice main event by plugging tonight’s matchup between Kurt Angle & Scott Steiner against Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash.

Jim Cornette is in the ring with the tag team belts and a fish bowl with names in it on top of a table.  He calls the Egotistical Eight out and they all file out one by one and stand on the entrance ramps.  Cornette says that everyone except for Sting has been asking to find out who their partners are, so Cornette will be drawing two teams tonight and the other two at Sacrifice. 

The first team drawn is the unlikely duo of Sting & James Storm and their partnership starts on the rocks as they come to blows in the ring.  Cornette then announces that the teams drawn will be facing each other in the ring tonight and books a no disqualification match with Sting against James Storm.  The other team will be drawn later tonight.

Jeremy Borash is outside of the Impact Zone as two limousines pulls up.  The first one holds Scott Steiner and Petey Williams, while Kurt Angle comes out of the second one.  They have a quick meeting where they agree to take out Samoa Joe tonight and Angle promises to give Steiner a singles match for the title after he takes it back at Sacrifice.

Match 1: Curry Man vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Consequences Creed vs. Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy vs. Petey Williams
All of the participants get in on the action in the early going with nobody getting a huge advantage.  The heels work over Shark Boy for a bit until he manages to roll out of the way of a high risk move from Devine and tags in Curry Man who takes control of the match and gets the crowd into it.  Soon there are several bodies falling out to the floor and Creed takes them all down with a dive over the top rope.  People start hitting their finishers and Rave lands a hard kick to Williams’ face which fractures his orbital bone.  Williams rolls out of the ring and Rave nails Curry Man with “the Move that Rocks the World” and picks up the pin fall.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Sting who says him and Storm are going to do things the old fashioned way and beat the hell out of each other and get everything worked out.  After that is done and Storm is in line, they will go on to win the tag team titles together.

A video package highlighting the LAX and their dominance in TNA is aired.  It focuses on their quest to regain the tag team gold with Hector Guerrero and the Latino nation in their corner.

Crystal is back and is in Jim Cornette’s office along with the rest of the Knockouts.  Cornette says that there is going to be an immunity match tonight between all of them.  There is going to be a 10 foot pole in the ring with a pair of sheers on it and the woman who is able to climb up the pole and get it will be granted immunity and save her head of hair on Sunday.

Jeremy Borash is with Christian Cage & Rhino who are said to be the “odds on favorite” to win the tournament on Sunday.  Cage says that the two of them have known each other for a long time and tells him to do the math.  Team 3D come out and say that they are the 20-time tag team champs and are the best of all time.  The two teams come to blows and fight through the backstage area until the LAX enter into the fray and pick up the pieces and Homicide calls themselves the odds on favorite.

Match 2: Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Traci Brooks vs. Jacqueline vs. Salinas vs. Christy Hemme vs. Roxxi Laveaux vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB (Immunity Match)
Velvet Sky is quick to go for the sheers but is taken down Roxxi.  Traci is the next one up and she is stopped by Gail Kim but Traci manages to send her down to the ring with a face plant.  The women start landing some big moves on each other and Christy Hemme goes for it but instead gets a tower superplex from ODB, Kim and the Beautiful People.  Bodies then start falling out to the floor as Jacqueline goes for the sheers but is stopped by ODB, who slams her down to the mat.  This leaves an opening for Kim to climb up and grab the sheers to win immunity.

Crystal is backstage with Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash who says he has an insurance policy with Kevin Nash.  Joe then says that he is an army of his own and will die before he loses the title.

Match 3: James Storm vs. Sting (No Disqualification)
This match starts on the entrance ramp and goes out into the crowd where Sting sends Storm through the usual wooden wall under the bleachers.  It goes back to the ringside area where Storm blinds Sting by spitting beer into his face.  Storm sends a table into the ring and sets it up in the corner.  Storm inadvertently kicks Rudy Charles with a superkick and Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock but the referee is still out.  Jacqueline sends a chair into the ring and Storm clocks him in the head but Sting manages to kick out of a slow three count.  Sting nails Storm with a baseball bat and delivers a Stinger Splash on Storm through the table.  Sting follows with the Death Drop and picks up the win.

Jeremy Borash is with Kip James who asks who he would like to have as a tag team partner.  James says none of them will live up to his standards.  James then calls himself a “megastar” who made DX.  With that, the next random drawing is next.

Jim Cornette is back in the ring and calls out the rest of the Egotistical Eight as he is going to pick the second team out of the fish bowl.  The first name drawn by Cornette is Matt Morgan who will be paired up with Kip James.  James tells Morgan to listen to him and Morgan tells him to suck it.  The team comes to blows and security come out to break the two apart.  Cornette tells them to keep going at it and starts the match between them.

Match 4: Matt Morgan vs. Kip James
After a commercial break, James works over Morgan for a bit until Morgan lands a couple of clotheslines and delivers a kick to James’s face and picks up the pin fall.

Crystal is with BG James who runs down the list of remaining participants.  He wants Awesome Kong as his partner and says he would finally look good standing next to her.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan.  Steiner says that he and Angle don’t see eye to eye but they need to hurt Samoa Joe for a common purpose.  Angle says he can handle that as the tensions start to rise between the two.  Petey Williams gets in the middle and calms them down by saying they will only need to work together for ten minutes, or maybe 66 and 2/3 percent of that time, to take care of Joe tonight.

Match 5: Scott Steiner & Kurt Angle vs. Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe
Nash & Joe take turns working over Angle to start out.  Angle manages to tag in Steiner after poking Nash in the eye but Nash quickly takes down Steiner with a boot to the face.  Angle gets involved again while Steiner takes Nash down with a low blow.  Steiner & Angle begin working over Nash and Angle is able to score a two count after landing a back drop.  Nash is able to stop the assault with a side slam on Angle and makes a tag to Joe, but Steiner is distracting Earl Hebner so he doesn’t see it.  Joe doesn’t care and comes in anyway and takes both of his opponents out with slams and clotheslines.  Nash then sets up Angle for a chokeslam but Steiner nails him in the back with the lead pipe while Hebner is trying to get Joe out of the ring.  Angle follows with a side slam and Steiner makes the cover for the win.

Steiner begins to pose after the victory and Angle attacks him from behind by sending him down to the canvas with an Olympic slam.  Angle the puts Steiner in an ankle lock and makes Steiner tap out as we are treated to a Sacrifice video package and Impact comes to a close.

Quick Results
- Jimmy Rave defeated five others in an X Division match by a pin fall over Curry Man.
- Gail Kim won an immunity pole match against eight other Knockouts.
- Sting defeated James Storm by pin fall in a no disqualification match.
- Matt Morgan defeated Kip James by pin fall.
- Scott Steiner & Kurt Angle defeated Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe by pin fall.

Starman’s Thoughts
The road to Sacrifice has come to an end and the pay-per-view looking pretty bare on the surface, even after this segment heavy show.  A lot of the focus tonight was on the Egotistical Eight as a couple of random drawings took place and two of the teams have been set up.  As there are a few people who are “feuding,” of course they have been selected to team up.

Two teams were selected tonight and it will be James Storm teaming with Sting and Matt Morgan pairing up with Kip James for the Deuces Wild tournament.  That would explain the seemingly random attack from Morgan to James that happened backstage a few weeks ago that went without any explanation.  I guess that meant that they didn’t like each other and it was supposed to be shocking that they will be teaming up.  With that said, I’m sure Booker and Roode will be “randomly” selected and BG James will get his wish to be put together with Awesome Kong.

To add a little more confusion to the Knockout Makeover Battle Royal/Ladder Match, Jim Cornette added an immunity stipulation that allowed Gail Kim to keep her locks if she comes up short in the match.  However, if she does lose then the next runner up will have her head shaved.  If none of this happens, then the rules go out as first planned.  Did you get all of that?  I hope so, I don’t want to try to explain it again.

Oh well, at least Crystal was back on the show where she belongs.