Impact opens with the Angle Alliance coming out of a limousine with Angle & Styles wearing tuxedos. Jeremy Borash asks what the occasion is and Angle says it’s always a celebration with the Angle Alliance. He compares it to Christmas, which gets a nearby Eric Young excited. Angle tells him that Santa Claus is in his limo and locks him inside. Angle then goes on to say that they are also celebrating Styles’ triple threat match that will earn him a free pass from defending the title at Against All Odds.
The Impact intro airs and we are welcomed to tonight’s show that will feature a triple threat match between Samoa Joe, Christian Cage and AJ Styles, plus James Mitchell will reveal Abyss’ deep, dark secret to the world.
Jay Lethal and the Motorcity Machine Guns make their way to the ring to kick things off. Alex Shelley says that he heard Team 3D issue a challenge to the Motorcity Machismo Guns and having to disband the X Division if they lose. Shelley adds to the stipulation that if they win they will institute a weight limit of the X Division of 275 pounds. Team 3D interrupts and Brother Ray informs Shelley that he already weighs 275. Team 3D & Johnny Devine enter the ring to shake on it to make it official and it turns into a donnybrook after the handshake is complete. Security along with Matt Morgan come out to separate the two squads.
Crystal is standing by with Abyss who asks about the revealing of his secret. Abyss says that it will happen over his dead body and will mark the end of James Mitchell and Judas Mesias.
We are then treated to a video package highlighting the injuries suffered by Shark Boy. This is followed by a clip of Jeremy Borash visiting the home of Shark Boy earlier in the week where he is in a coma and surrounded by his family all wearing shark masks. Dr. Fishman believes that Shark Boy may have reached low tide.
Match 1: Tomko vs. Eric Young
Eric Young fails to make it to the ring as we head to the back where he is still inside Angle’s limousine. Sonjay Dutt is on the outside telling him that he is not locked in and to pull on the handle. Young does what he says and gets out and runs to the ring with his drinking championship as Mike Tenay says that James Storm wants a match against Young at Against All Odds for that title belt.
The match starts and a handshake is offered, but Young pulls back. Tomko nails a power slam and gets a near fall. Young comes back with a fall away slam but misses with a moonsault, which leaves himself open for a devastating clothesline from Tomko for the pin fall.
James Storm comes out after it is over and delivers the Eye of the Storm to Young and taunts him with the drinking championship. Storm then offers a beer to Tomko who returns the favor by tossing Storm over the top rope and onto the floor. Tomko then hands the belt and the beer to Young and leaves the ring.
Crystal is backstage with Christian Cage who commends Tomko for his actions and keeping his word, unlike his partner AJ Styles, who stabbed him in the back. Cage goes on to say that tonight, Samoa Joe will come to the ring to prove he deserves more money and Styles will want to protect Kurt Angle, however, he will be in the match to prove that he is the champ and will walk out the number one contender.
After a commercial break, we see Crystal with Dustin Rhodes who is taking him into Black Reign’s backstage hangout. Rhodes trips and begins to crawl on the floor as he tells Crystal that she shouldn’t have brought him there. Crystal leaves with a terrified look on her face.
Match 2: ODB vs. Angelina Love
ODB attacks Love prior to the bell and powers her around the ring in the opening moments until Love sidesteps a high risk attempt that sends ODB crashing down to the mat. Love delivers a hurricanrana and a jawbreaker to ODB which scores her a two count over her opponent. That isn’t enough to keep ODB down as she fights her way back and picks up the win after a hard clothesline and a running power slam.
After the match, ODB grabs the microphone and says that Awesome Kong has defeated every broad in TNA except for the ODB and issues a challenge for the title at Against All Odds.
Crystal is outside of Kevin Nash’s dressing room where we see Nash talking to Joe about winning his match tonight and going on to win the World title to get his money, power and ladies. Nash then tells him to light the fuse and go out there and do it.
We see more footage from Shark Boy’s bedside and Chris Harris is sitting nearby. Harris complains that he had to resort to seeing Shark Boy to get some TV time on Impact. Harris wonders if Shark Boy’s last name is Angle as the LAX come into the picture to visit Shark Boy and lift some of his items scattered about his room.
Match 3: Senshi vs. Kaz
The bell rings and these two go back and forth with some fast paced action. Senshi picks up a near fall after delivering a dropkick to Kaz and then slows the pace of the match down with some mat wrestling. Kaz fights his way back into the match by taking down Senshi with a leg sweep followed by a springboard leg drop. Kaz then lands the Wave of the Future on Senshi for the pin fall.
Black Reign enters the ring after the match and nails Kaz with his club. Reign goes for his rat cage but soon finds out that there is no rat inside. Reign then smashes the cage over Kaz’s head and begins an assault on Kaz until it is broken up by security.
Jeremy Borash is backstage with James Mitchell and Judas Mesias and asks about Abyss’ secret. Mitchell says that wrestling fans are used to the bait and switch and promises that won’t happen tonight. Mitchell promises to reveal the secret in a short while.
After a commercial break, we see Jeremy Borash with AJ Styles who is seeking Tomko’s advice about taking a title shot or giving Angle time off. Tomko says it is as simple as doing what he wants to do, not what someone else thinks he should do.
Match 4: Lance Hoyt vs. Abyss
The match starts and Abyss sends Hoyt out to the floor and tosses Jimmy Rave on top of him for good measure. James Mitchell interrupts the match and gives Abyss one last chance at telling the secret. Abyss refuses, so Mitchell makes a camera man follow him to the back. Meanwhile, Hoyt attacks a distracted Abyss but misses with a moonsault off the top rope. This gives Abyss an opening for the Black Hole slam and the victory.
After the match, Mitchell appears on the screen as Abyss motions to the cameras to shut off. Mitchell then reveals that, although he legally changed his last name to his mother’s maiden name of Parks, Abyss is in fact a Mitchell as he is his father. Abyss screams in the ring as Tenay says that finally all the pieces have come together.
Crystal catches up with Abyss after a commercial break but he offers no comments and heads for the exit.
Match 5: Robert Roode vs. Sonjay Dutt
During his ring entrance, Dutt tries for another kiss from SoCal Val but pinches her behind instead. The match starts and Dutt goes on the offensive and takes Roode out to the floor and follows with a dive over the top rope. Roode’s new manager, Peyton Banks, distracts Dutt for a moment which allows Roode to gain control of the match. Ms Brooks comes down to the ringside area. After a commercial break, Dutt uses his quickness to regain control of the match and picks up a near fall after landing a springboard seated senton. Dutt goes for another springboard but Roode knocks him off of the ropes and follows with the Payoff for the pin fall.
After the match, Ms. Brooks enters the ring and gets into a cat fight with Peyton Banks until Roode pulls Brooks off of her. Brooks answers back with a slap across Roode’s face and spears Banks. Roode again grabs Brooks and hold her as Banks slaps her across the face a couple of times until Matt Morgan comes out and clears the ring.
Borash is backstage with Styles and Karen Angle and asks Styles what he is going to do if he wins tonight’s triple threat match. Karen tries seducing Styles into saying what she wants him to say before leaving the room. Styles wonders outloud if he has lipstick on his cheek after being kissed by her.
Meanwhile, VKM are out in the hallway arguing as BG tells Kip that his partner is on his way to the Impact Zone as they speak. Kip says he better be a bigger man than him or else they will both get their asses kicked by him and walks away.
Another segment from Shark Boy’s bedside is aired and this time Velvet Sky & Angelina Love pay him a visit. The two are about to give him mouth to mouth when one of Shark Boy’s relatives hop on top to try to get that instead.
VKM are in the ring and Kip says he has always been there for BG James for the past 10 years. BG tells him to shut up and let him have five minutes of his time. BG talks about having a hero growing up and always wanting to stand in the ring together with the baddest man he has ever known and introduces his new partner, his father, Bullet Bob Armstrong. Bob Armstrong comes to the ring and Kip gives him a hug and stands together with the father and son team.
We take one last visit to Shark Boy’s bedside and Eric Young has come around to offer some words of encouragement. Shark Boy finally comes out of his coma and delivers a spot on Steve Austin impersonation by saying that’s the bottom line ‘cause Shark Boy said so. Borash believes it is a miracle.
Kurt Angle comes to the ring and says that two great things are going to happen tonight. One, AJ Styles will win the triple threat match and give Angle a pass on defending his title at Against All Odds, and two, Global Impact will be airing after Impact which will show him defend his “other” World title against Yuji Nagata in Japan.
Jim Cornette is in his office with Scott Steiner and Petey Williams. Cornette is trying to sell Steiner on the idea of the X Division. Steiner wants to make it clear that it is not about being four feet tall and weighing 125 pounds. Cornette assures him that it isn’t and is about being the best. Steiner heard enough and switches his case back with Petey Williams and leaves the office.
Match 6: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage (Triple Threat Elimination Match)
The bell rings and Cage goes and attacks Styles as Joe looks on and waits. Joe soon gets his turn as Cage and Joe work together on Styles and sends him out to the floor. Both Cage and Joe go after Styles on the outside. Joe takes out both of them with a dive through the ropes as we head to a commercial.
We return to see Joe still in control and working on both Styles and Cage. Joe picks up a near fall on Cage after landing a snap suplex but Cage sends Joe flying to the outside as Styles lands a flying forearm on Cage for his first real offensive attack of the match. Styles sets up Cage for the Styles Clash, but Cage counters into a submission maneuver.
Joe comes in a kicks Cage in the face and tries for the rear naked choke but instead tosses Cage into Styles. Joe grabs Cage again and inadvertently nails the referee with Cage’s boots as Joe then locks in the rear naked choke. Styles heads out of the ring to grab a chair and nails both of his opponents with it. It isn’t enough to keep Joe down, though, as Joe kicks the chair into Styles’ face. Joe then tosses the chair out to the floor, which the referee sees and disqualifies Joe from the match. Matt Morgan comes out and tells Joe to head to the back as Joe shoves the ref. Kevin Nash comes in between Joe and Morgan as we head to another commercial break.
We return from the commercial with only Cage and Styles in or around the ring. The two battle back and forth, with both picking up near falls on one another. Cage goes for the Unprettier, but Styles is able to counter and land the Pele instead, however, that doesn’t keep Cage down for long as he comes at Styles with a spear and picks up another near fall. The two begin to counter and reverse each others moves until Styles tries for an Unprettier of his own on Cage, which is reversed into Cage’s Unprettier for the pin fall.
Christian Cage stands over AJ Styles as he has won the opportunity to face Kurt Angle for the World title at Against All Odds. A video package highlighting the show then closes out the show.
Quick Results
- Tomko defeated Eric Young by pin fall.
- ODB defeated Angelina Love by pin fall.
- Kaz defeated Senshi by pin fall.
- Abyss defeated Lance Hoyt by pin fall.
- Robert Roode defeated Sonjay Dutt by pin fall.
- Cage defeated AJ Styles & Samoa Joe to become the #1 Contender.
Match of the Night
- AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage (Triple Threat Elimination Match)
Don West Quote of the Night
“He’s trying to turn Eric Young into Linda Blair!”
- West on Tomko yanking on Eric Young’s neck.
Starman’s Thoughts
I tend to gripe a lot about dusty finishes in TNA and I was amazed to see all of the matches tonight end with a legitimate pin fall. What didn’t amaze me, though, was the match quality from the majority of the matches. The first five matches were too predictable with most of the real action happening after the final bell sounded. They served a purpose in that sense, but it would have been nice to have at least one other decent match, aside from the main event, on tonight’s show.
While I am on the topic of the main event, tonight’s more than made up for the lackluster first hour and a half of broadcast time. Joe, Cage and Styles all work well together and after seeing the final half of the main event, I would much rather see Cage take on Styles instead of Angle and Against All Odds. Those two put on a great finish and made the show enjoyable to watch. Here’s to hoping they pick up this feud after Cage’s shot against Angle.
We got to find out that Abyss’ big secret was that James Mitchell is his father. Man, I didn’t see that coming (that is said with heavy sarcasm). It wasn’t quite the shocking revelation I was hoping it to be, nor was is said with the same type of impact when Lord Vader told Luke Skywalker that he was his father. We also got some more father/son moments tonight as BG James announced his new tag team partner to be none other than his dad, Bullet Bob Armstrong.
It has been nearly two years since the elder Armstrong graced our television screen and something tells me that even at his age of 68, he will be wearing TNA gold in the near future. I mean, why would a deserving legitimate tag team win the tag team gold for once? At least it won’t be Abyss and James Mitchell with the titles… yet.
One of the big focuses of tonight’s show was Shark Boy laid out in a coma. Over the past several weeks, I found it mildly amusing to see him come out with more and more injuries. Tonight, though, seemed to stretch it out a little too much and it got stale very quickly. Tonight’s recurring segments from his bedside didn’t do much of anything and what was the payoff in the end – to hear an impersonation of Stone Cold Steve Austin? Yes, it sounded good, but do we really need another impersonator? Let’s hope this was a one-night only deal and not waste anymore television time on segments that have no purpose whatsoever.
Speaking of television time, what is up with Senshi as of late? He asks for his release from the company and now he is on my television screen week after week. I’m hoping this doesn’t send the wrong message to the wrestlers that the only way you can have a regular spot on Impact (without being an Angle) is to ask for your release. It’s great that he is willing to help get other people over, but does it need to happen each week?
